Responding to someone.
Thanks.
I just read this.
https://bit.ly/2In3IQV
I have mixed feelings.
There is some apparent unclarity about what went on between the two of them. She was sexually open up to a point. Then not. On balance, I believe her account of what happened. And I see it, for him, as the conduct of an immature, spoiled, coddled, self assumed and self entitled “prince” of the world who then thought his celebrity and the reverence for him paved the way for him to do what he wanted at the expense of somebody else and get away with it. And he didn’t fully get away with it, at least to the extent that he had to dig into his own pocket somewhat to square matters with his victim (and on the personal side with his wife.)
OTOH, as bad as that rape was, and it was very bad, it happened when he was 24, which is to say, almost 20 years ago, 17 to be exact. And it seems that since then, he had rehabilitated himself, continuing to excel in his sport to be one of its great players, in his personal life as far as I know, and apparently with burgeoning promise in his post basketball life both creatively and entrepreneurially.
He is commonly perceived now as a larger than life exemplary figure who had a sordid, inexcusable incident in his somewhat distant past.
So, for me, to some extent, the other hand brackets the first hand.
And my sense is on balance, on what I now know and understand, that his death together with the deaths of his daughter and the others on the helicopter deserve to be grieved over and his and his daughter’s lives deserve to be celebrated without that incident being thrust into their midst.
There will be plenty of opportunity, if people want to, to dwell on and stress the rape. But, IMHO, immediately after his and his daughter’s and the others’ deaths and during the celebration of their lives was not the time and place.
I stress “humble” in IMHO because I can see the force of seeing the issue differently and I wouldn’t be strident in asserting that I’m right.
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Response :
Thanks for your reaction, Itzik. I don't have major disagreements with you here.
I would say that if, on balance, you're inclined to agree with her version of events, he looks pretty awful. The choking, the way he spoke to her, and his actual sexual behaviour are hard to overlook and don't deserve to be overshadowed by the fact that he went on to become fabulously wealthy and successful as an NBA player in my mind.
Furthermore, his remarks to the police about how he should do what Shaq does and just pay women up front to keep quiet makes me think he wasn't particularly broken up about his infidelity, or what transpired that night. Perhaps him continuing to do this (even consensually) wouldn't bother you, but it bothers me.
Anyway, it was a very long time ago. And in the absence of any newer evidence, we should probably give Bryant the benefit of the doubt that he turned a page. But rape is a special category of awful, and I do think it wouldn't have been inappropriate to highlight this shortly after celebrating him. But as I said, I think your position is pretty reasonable.
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